It's a recession!!

Have you ever gone somewhere gotten bad service or a low quality product, or paid the same price for a drink but got half the cup size instead? What's the reason for this you might ask? Well dummy, IT's A RECESSION!!!!
When u hear the word recession, what's the first thing that comes to your mind? If 'the economy' wasn't your first answer than you may be as dumb as rocks. Or maybe you're not?? We pay higer prices at the pump, grocery store, restaurant, starbux, etc. We even pay more at church, since we essentially are responsible for paying all the bills! Hmmm...anyways...
But have you considered the recession having an effect on your relationship? Not really, you say? Well listen to MY story!
"My name is virtuousnumber9,and today I was fired. After three years of work, I was fired! Fired from the happiest job I have had in years. This job let me work from home, from school, in the car, this job went with me where ever I went! It was also one of the hardest jobs I have ever done. I started this job in 2006. Funny story, I met my employer during a fraternity meeting he had at my school, my sorority meeting let out at the same time his did and we crossed paths in the lobby! At first I had an entry level position. My job title was "friend" I took this job seriously and worked hard at it everyday! Then I was promoted to "girlfriend" a position that I have been wanting for a very very long time. As a girlfriend I did everything to please my employer. He is in the military and had been deployed several times during my employment and I waited everyday for a year for his return, I counted the days one by one, with excitement till he returned to me and it was business as usual! Then recently I acheived my ultimate goal, the higest level in my career, I was offered the position of partner, a position I loved oh so much. I quickly started planning our "celebration" the type that all little girls dream of from birth, I had the picture of my white dress, the cake, the location, everything. I even started informing my "bridal committee" of their expected duties.
Everything was going great till today! Today! Today today! Three years came crashing down, he decided to be honest and tell me he really wasn't ready for a partnership at this time! Apparently he was more content to just be "boyfriend/ girlfreind" apparently he was afraid of that level of commitment and wasn't ready to take the plunge! My heart was broken, I couldn't believe I was fired, for a while I seemed like I was floating on cloud9. The news of my demotion quikly spread throughout the company, with shame I had to confirm the rumorms, yes guys the wedding is off, I am now just a lowly, regular, ordinary GIRLFRIEND!
How can I be this calm you ask? Well of course you know dummy, "IT'S A RECESSION!!!!!" The end!